The holiday season is a time of great joy, but it can often be accompanied by a massive degree of stress.
Sometimes, all that yuletide angst centers on preparing, cooking and presenting the perfect Christmas turkey before family and friends.
Sound familiar?
That’s where operators at the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line can help. From Nov. 1 through Christmas Eve, more than 50 trained food professionals affiliated with the Naperville, Ill., company field about 100,000 phone calls, chats and texts from stressed-out consumers.
Snigger all you want about getting jittery about giblets or dithering over drumsticks, but the talk-line debuted in 1981 and is still going strong. And the experts who coach, counsel and consult with callers take their jobs seriously.
“I’m proud to work here and help people; they’re so grateful,” said Phyllis Kramer, a 22-year hotline veteran. “We give people a lot of emotional support.”
Each year, the talk-line receives around 10,000 inquiries on Thanksgiving Day alone. But the number of calls leading up to Christmas is pretty robust, too.
“If there’s stress in the kitchen, there’s stress in the whole house,” Kramer said. “Sometimes when (callers) read things online or in magazines or whatever, they get a lot of conflicting information.”
The most common questions deal with the correct way to thaw a frozen bird. The short answer? “Put it in your refrigerator one week before” the day you plan to serve it, Kramer said.
Michael Maddox, a chef and associate professor at a culinary school in the Chicago area, has been giving advice on the talk-line for four years. Last month, he took an odd call from a woman about thawing her turkey.
“She wanted to put her hair dryer on high and put it down the cavity and melt the ice,” Maddox said. “She was dead serious. I said, ‘That’s an interesting idea but let’s put that in the sink, turn on some cool water and run it down the center.’ ”
Some other wacky questions heard over the years include:
- Can I put my turkey in the dishwasher to thaw it faster? Kramer said the woman who asked promised she would not use any soap.
- Can I put a heating blanket around the turkey to thaw it?
With understatement worthy of a master diplomat, Kramer says, “These are not safe ways to thaw a turkey.”
Maddox has heard some doozies, too.
A caller told one of Maddox’s colleagues that he wanted to keep the uncooked turkey cold. He lived out in the country and decided to deposit the bird into a snowbank. But an unexpected blizzard hit the farm and he didn’t find the turkey until spring.
Last month, Maddox received a call from a customer who had an idea for stuffing. A lover of Chicago-style hot dogs loaded with relish, pickles, onions, sliced tomatoes, peppers and mustard, the caller placed 12 dogs — buns and all — into the turkey. He called Maddox to make sure that was OK.
“I’m not sure how well pickle relish and turkey blend together,” Maddox said. Besides, temperatures inside the turkey need to reach 165 degrees to be served safely, so he suggested the customer place his beloved weenies into a casserole dish and cook them separately. “His stress went way down,” Maddox said.
Kramer recalled one of her most memorable calls.
A young man wanted to surprise his would-be bride by hiding an engagement ring in the stuffing. Kramer, once again showing infinite tact, dissuaded the swain.
“I don’t know how happy she would be to have her engagement ring in the stuffing,” Kramer said, “but I applauded him on his creative sense.”
During its 42-year history, the talk-line has carved itself a niche into popular culture.
A 2001 episode of “The West Wing” featured a story line in which President Jed Bartlet called Butterball operators for help.
If you find yourself in need of turkey therapy this holiday season, call 1-800-BUTTERBALL (1-800-288-8372) or text 844-877-3456. Emails are also welcome.
Lines are open weekdays from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. PST through Dec. 22 and on Dec. 23 and Dec. 24 from 6 a.m. to noon PST.
Maddox said the experts are happy to offer advice for desserts and side dishes, too.
“Deviled eggs, right? How do you properly cook those?” Maddox said. “The chef side of me just comes out … Bringing people together is what life’s all about.”