RALEIGH, N.C. — School threats and violence are an unfortunate reality today, and processing the aftermath is often hard to navigate for students and their families.

Wendie Lubinsky is a licensed clinical mental health counselor who works with individuals, couples, families and teens but offers parents ways to better understand and work through any trauma or anxiety their children may be facing. She said signs of fear or anxiety might include changes in behavior or unhealthy coping mechanisms like shutting down and isolation. 

Wendie Lubinsky works on her laptop preparing to meet with clients. (Spectrum News 1/Rachel Boyd)

“The first thing we need to do is encourage our children to talk,” Lubinsky said. “Fear is anxiety. And if you are fearful to leave your house or you’re fearful to go to school or you’re fearful to ask for help, then that’s a very lonely road.”

Lubinsky said conversations about safety and school violence were not always a common occurrence for parents and their children, and sometimes parents don’t have the relationship with their children to encourage that open communication. At that point she recommends seeking help from a professional who is trained in this area. 

“It’s the parents that come in with the fear of, ‘I’m afraid to put my kid on the bus, because I don’t know if they’re coming home,’” Lubinsky said. “If you’ve got a parent who’s struggling with anxiety, that trickles down to the child.”

Although many parents are impacted by this as much as their students, Lubinsky said the most important thing a parent can do is open the door and create a safe space.

“Even if there aren’t behavioral changes, check in with your child and say, ‘Hey, you know, what do you think about this? Did you hear about it? What are you and your friends thinking about this?’” Lubinsky suggested. “We all need someone to talk to.”