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‘This cannot be real life’

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Jon Stewart was in shock following Thursday’s debate between President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump on CNN.

“This cannot be real life,” he said on a live edition of The Daily Show that followed. “It just can’t. We’re America!”

Stewart echoed the comments of much of the media when he said that Biden underperformed and Trump repeatedly made false statements. The comedian has long criticized both candidates for running for office at their advanced age. Biden is 81, and Trump is 78.

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The show presented a supercut of conservative pundits on news shows before the debate, saying that Biden was taking substances that would give him energy — a trait that debate analysts said he actually lacked.

“Let me just say after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs!” Stewart exclaimed. “As much of it as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance-enhancing drugs will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems — and in one of the candidates’ cases, improve their truthfulness, morality, and malignant narcissism — then suppository away. They should be taking whatever magical drugs can kick their brains into gear, ’cause this ain’t Olympic swimming.”

He added that if such performance-enhancing drugs for the candidates weren’t available, he could sure use some recreational ones.

Trump’s debate comment, “I didn’t have sex with a porn star,” prompted Stewart to think about a third-party candidate who didn’t have enough support to be invited to the official event hosted by CNN and moderated by Jake Tapper and Dana Bash, who didn’t escape criticism themselves for failing to press the candidates on the issues and their responses.

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“Really makes you wonder, What’s RFK Jr. doing tonight?” he asked before pretending to take a phone call that reminded him of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s controversial positions.

And after playing a clip of when Biden appeared to struggle with his words and misspoke, Stewart held up a finger and pulled out a phone. “Need to call the real estate agent in New Zealand,” he joked.

Stewart is scheduled to go live on The Daily Show once again following a debate rematch of the candidates on Sept. 10.



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