I think we can all agree that cell phones are forever a part of our lives just like death, taxes, and microplastics in our oceans. Since we can’t control whether or not cell phones exist, all we can do is choose how we interact with them. As a longtime server who began waiting tables well before cell phones were affixed to our palms, I have seen the progression of cell phone behavior in restaurants and it might be time for a refresher course on etiquette. 

Turn down for what? Politeness, for starters

Put them on silent. You may be anticipating a possible emergency, but the entire restaurant doesn’t need to hear the Motorola theme song if or when it happens. Silence is golden, but the vibration notification is platinum. You can attend to any emergency just as quickly if you feel the phone call rather than hear it. In the ’80s and ’90s people carried beepers for such situations and when it beeped, they still had to go find a pay phone to follow up. A silent notification is still faster than pre-cell phone days. 

And speaking of volume, FaceTime and speaker phone are absolutely unnecessary in a restaurant. Take it outside. 

A phone call a day keeps your server away

Your phone may be required if the restaurant’s menu is only available via a QR code, but once you’ve ordered, put it away. Don’t you deserve 45 minutes of uninterrupted time while dining out? Yes, you do, so treat yourself to that. Talking on the phone only makes it more difficult for your server because they don’t know when to approach you. Coming to the table while you are talking on the phone can seem like an interruption. Most servers will choose to wait until the conversation has ended so if you feel like being ignored for 10 minutes, keep on chatting. 

Real estate is expensive

Another good reason to put the phones away is because your table only has so much square footage available. An iPhone 16 Pro Max takes up 19.6452 square inches. If you and three others all have your big chunky phones on the table, that’s 78.5808 square inches of tabletop being taken up. A 6-inch appetizer plate only takes up 28 square inches, so where exactly is your server supposed to place your food and drinks? And what happens if condensation drips off the metal water pitcher while they’re refilling glasses and it drizzles onto your phone screen? OK, sure the iPhone 16 is water-resistant up to 6 meters for 30 minutes, but still, just move it out of the way, OK? 

Your phone, your problem

You and only you are responsible for keeping your phone charged. If you have a charger and you see an outlet, ask if you can use it, but don’t ever unplug something before seeing if it’s all right to do so. Most things that are plugged into outlets at restaurants are pretty important and unplugging them is selfish and rude. And don’t expect anyone who works at the restaurant to “keep an eye on it” because nobody wants that responsibility. Restaurants are not required to have a charger on hand for you to borrow. You can ask for one, but if they don’t, it’s your issue, not theirs. 

The world is not your studio

Taking photos with your phone at a restaurant is absolutely fine. I mean, if you don’t take a picture of the calamansi, pineapple, Thai basil, coconut petite tart, how will anyone ever know you even had it? Take your photos, but then wait until later to post them on social media. There’s no Instagram requirement to post immediately after taking a photo and you’re doing yourself a disservice by interrupting your own meal. Your server is probably fine with taking a photo of you, but don’t turn it into a whole photo shoot. Ask them to take several photos in quick succession and then choose one later. You’re not Naomi Campbell and they’re not Annie Leibovitz.

Cell phones are here to stay and so are restaurants, but there’s no reason the two can’t live happily ever after, separate yet together.