Irma Contreras’ life was a struggle from the day she left her family in 1990 and followed a dark and destructive path. But something dramatic happened in December 2002 that sent her off in a different direction.
Born in 1972, Contreras was raised, along with her two brothers, in southeastern San Diego’s Lomita Village.
Her parents, who were married 54 years before her dad passed in 2021, instilled strong family values that emphasized education, thinking before acting and helping others.
“My home life was not dysfunctional,” Contreras said. “I was more fearful of disappointing my parents than anything else.”
Although she did well in school and avoided drugs, Contreras said her friends were largely gang members. “My parents said this was not the right crowd — you will end up in jail. You’re making the wrong choices,” Contreras said.
Irma Contreras
(Courtesy)
However, she wanted independence.
At 18, she left home and stayed with various friends. “I wanted to hang out, cruise and cross the border to Tijuana,” she said. “I didn’t want to follow my parents’ rules or disrespect them. So, I left.”
Her life spiraled downward.
She married and within months there was domestic violence. Contreras and her husband took drugs, and she got hooked on methamphetamine. He was eventually sent to prison. They later divorced.
Contreras worked 10 years as the “trusted person” for a drug dealer. She collected money and ran errands. As a “perk” she received drugs, which fed her addiction.
Despite her destructive path, Contreras wanted a family. By 2001, at age 29, she had one son with her husband and three daughters. Her last daughter, born in 2001, died from sudden infant death syndrome.
Contreras hit rock bottom when in 2002 she was arrested and jailed for driving under the influence of methamphetamine and for child endangerment. Her children were taken from her and placed in foster care.
“Taking my children was the worst feeling,” Contreras said. “I already lost one child.”
In December, 2002, she stood in front of her mother, who implored her to change her life and address her addiction for the sake of her children.
“Mom got on her knees and asked me, ‘Aren’t they worth it?’”
“She was crying. I was crying. I was ashamed. It made me realize how far I had gotten from my upbringing and who I really am.”
She committed to change in honor of her youngest daughter. “My dead daughter became my higher power,” she said. “I didn’t want her death to be in vain.”
She no longer associated with drug dealers and gangs and entered residential treatment. She continued with Narcotics Anonymous and Vista Hill’s ParentCare.
Vista Hill, a local nonprofit service organization since 1957, created ParentCare to provide family-centered recovery help.
“I came to ParentCare really broken,” Contreras said. “I had lost a baby to SIDS and then had my children removed. My life was really spiraling, but I found ParentCare and received complete support, understanding and compassion. I stopped using, learned coping skills and how to be a better parent.”
Contreras said she has since been clean and sober for nearly 21 years.
Vista Hill administrators were so impressed with Contraras’ efforts that they hired her in 2010 as a peer-support partner to help show women on destructive paths how to change. She was promoted to case manager and now helps administrate the programs. She also co-founded the ParentCare Alumni Association.
As for her children, after years of being denied contact, they were reconciled.
“We have open and nurturing relationships,” she said. “They know they can depend on me.”
“I walked my oldest daughter down the aisle with her foster mom.”
Contreras, now 51, lives in Lomita Village. She looks forward to enjoying her now five children as adults and, thus far, two grandchildren while spending the rest of her career helping people at Vista Hill.
“I am committed to helping people believe in themselves and get their lives back on track,” she said.
Irma Contreras is proof it can be done.
About this series
Jan Goldsmith is an Emeritus member of the U-T’s Community Advisory Board. He is an attorney and former law partner, judge, state legislator, San Diego city attorney and Poway mayor.
Someone San Diego Should Know is a column written by members of the U-T’s Community Advisory Board about local people who are interesting and noteworthy because of their experiences, achievements, creativity or credentials.