Dear Amy: Two years ago, my father-in-law called to inform his son (my husband) that he was being disinherited because, in my father-in-law’s words, “We don’t need his inheritance.”

He stated that his daughter who lives with him and takes full-time care of him would receive his money.

Seven years ago, we moved away from the area to be closer to our grandkids.

Prior to our move we fully participated in both of my husband’s parents’ care and occasionally helped to support his sister. This was beneficial for her, as she did not have a job or a home.

Admittedly, she does need his money (and we don’t), but I cannot get over the hurt of being cut out. Two years later, it still bothers me.

Any advice?

— Sad D-I-L

Dear Sad: The word “disinherited” takes on a particular meaning because it sounds as if your husband was due to inherit part of the estate, and now he is being denied because of some specific behavior on his part — or because the relationship with his father has deteriorated.

If your father-in-law used this specific word to describe his actions, then perhaps it fits. But from your description it sounds as if the elder man is making his plans and has decided to direct his money toward the child who has spent the last many years in many ways — earning it.

This daughter is receiving room and board, but she is also providing care that has a substantial monetary value. (Oftentimes, parents and siblings will actually compensate an adult child for providing full-time care to an elder parent.)

If the daughter inherits some money, this would help to provide for her into her own elder years, sparing your husband the worry (and possible expense) of taking this on.