Abe pays his respects
F. Murray Abraham. The “F” ’s alternately for whatever.
F. Murray: “People running the business make billions. Average actors don’t make a living. They need respect, a living income, free health care which they don’t have. Only the union helps them. We’re a democratic country. Without a middle class there’s no democracy. The union wants the same thing for actors. Every worker needs respect and a decent living. Some lose their homes because they can’t pay their doctor bills.
“I have no worry paying the rent but I’m a serious union man — walking the picket line every day. The industry’s not helping average people like they used to. The Democratic party should be doing that. Huge corporations, guys making 250 million a year, aren’t paying a dime. Aren’t sharing. How about taxing everyone equally — 20%. Forget loopholes. We could even finance Social Security. Those rich people get away with murder.
“One director mistreated a little actress who only had a few days’ work. I told him, bad to her once more I’d punch him. Well, he was — and I did. I got fired but sometimes you’ve got to take a stand.
“To loosen people up on set I’ve even dropped my pants just to make them laugh. My underwear stays on. Nobody wants to see my old thing anymore.”
Next for this Oscar/Obie/Golden Glober is “The Queen of Versailles,” a documentary Lauren Greenfield once made about a wife wanting USA’s biggest house.
It’s to be a musical. With his drawers on F’s the husband. Kristin Chenoweth, queen.
Don’t go down the rabbit hole
The “Alice in Wonderland” Queen of Hearts, cranky about a thief’s trial, insisted the sentence come before the verdict. She wanted “off with his head.”
Liberal “TV legal scholars” share that in terms of Donald.
Other self-styled legal types, itchy to favor conservatives, bleat that the law ain’t what others say it is because our legal system’s corrupted. It’s a crapshoot.
About law professors I know: “Off with their heads.”
And if it all smells fishy, try Milos or Oceana for best seafood in town.
Diet riot act
I’m cranky. Bill O’Reilly sent word not to enjoy peanut butter, almonds or spinach any more. Says they’re lousy for you.
Anti peanut butter? Please. Two a.m., if I can’t sleep it’s peanut butter.
Even my dog likes peanut butter. Take that away? Almonds? Everyone praises a handful of almonds. Shove other treats — but ALMONDS?
Spinach who cares. Spinach he can shove. MY forever housekeeper Nazalene who visits doctors every 20 minutes inhales spinach every 10 minutes.
NO peanut butter? Grrrrrr . . .
By design
Designer Tom Ford bought Jackie O’s childhood Hamptons haunt.
Price: $52 mil. 8,500 square feet, 10 bedrooms and, presumably, big closets.
A) For that kind of bread it should come with a Kennedy in it and B) just imagine how much he must’ve made selling shmattas.
Shoe designer Steve Madden’s hawking “The Cobbler,” a book he wrote a few years ago, now in its second edition. “It’s about a kid you wouldn’t have given 5 cents for. Drugs, drunk, got in trouble. I hope some f’d-up 26-year-old boy reads it and won’t give up.”
Now prosperous, he wants Channing Tatum to play him in a movie version.
Just imagine how much this guy must’ve made selling scuffs.
And where else can you get this whiff of semi-brilliant wisdom if not only in New York, kids, only in New York.