A restaurant’s primary purpose is to provide food and drinks for hungry customers who look at the menu, decide what they’d like, and then have the food prepared for them. If the menu doesn’t offer anything to their liking, then they have chosen the wrong restaurant. They can either have a glass of water while the rest of their party eats or they can choose to go somewhere else. The menu not providing something they want to eat is not an open invitation for them to whip out their own meal. Simply put, it is hardly ever acceptable to bring your own food into a restaurant.

Although it can vary from state to state, eating food that wasn’t prepared in that restaurant can be a health code violation. It’s also a loss of profit for the restaurant since the restaurant pretty much stays open by selling food. Besides those two very compelling reasons, it’s also incredibly tacky and downright rude to sit down in a restaurant only to pull out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or a Big Mac and then ask for a plate. In the most extreme circumstance, doing so can result in the restaurant refusing service and asking you to leave. At the very least, your server will throw great disdain in your general direction. This is not to say there aren’t times that it might, maybe, just possibly be okay, but most of the time, it’s a no.

What if it’s for a child?

This one gets a pass. No one is going to mind if you bring a jar of baby food into a restaurant. Most menus don’t offer pureed carrots and peas or baby formula and nobody expects a one-year old to order chicken nuggies and french fries. Bringing in some Goldfish crackers for a baby is acceptable. Bringing in a burrito from Chipotle is not. 

What if the restaurant doesn’t have what I want to eat or drink?

I once worked someplace where a woman showed up with a grapefruit that she wanted me to use to make her cocktail because we didn’t have grapefruit juice. “I bought it at the farmers market,” she told me as if that made it more acceptable. Never mind that it was March and there was no way she just bought a fresh “local” grapefruit at a farmers market in Queens. Prepared to tell her no, the owner of the restaurant intercepted and said to just do it for her, indicating it was more trouble that it was worth to deny the request. This is a case of not selecting the right restaurant to eat in. Having a particular hot sauce on your person or some beer salt for your Corona, sure, but bringing in your own citrus is a no-no.

What if I’m a picky eater?

“I’m a very picky eater.” I too was a finicky eater and I understand how some menus can be very limited for those with a more limited palate. However, there is always something on the menu for even the most fussy of diners. If it’s a child who is choosy, the kids menu is notoriously simple. What child won’t eat pasta with butter or a grilled cheese? A picky adult can always ask for the mushrooms to be left out of a dish. If the menu is so offensive that it requires you to bring in your own food, once again, you have selected the wrong restaurant to eat in. 

What if the restaurant is too expensive?

I know of someone who will order one bourbon and Coke when she sits down and then continue to refill her glass throughout her meal with a bottle of bourbon and Coke that she brought in her bag. This is 100% not OK. Not only is it keeping her in the seat longer and resulting in less customer turnover and less profit for the restaurant, it can also be dangerous. When a server serves alcohol to their customer, it’s their job to do so responsibly. The server might think she’s only had one drink, but the free-flowing cocktail from her purse says otherwise. If it’s too expensive to pay for, don’t order it. 

What will happen to me if I bring in my own food?

Most restaurants will frown upon a customer who carries in their own food, but they will all respond differently. One restaurant manager may roll their eyes, but turn their attention elsewhere while others will make a big deal about it. Either way, your server is quietly wondering why you came to a restaurant in the first place if you just want to eat your own food anyway.