Quick, somebody — anybody. If you’re anywhere near the Chicago Cubs, push the button.

Because just two months into the season, the Cubs have fallen and they can’t get up.

Another 8-5 loss Sunday to the Cincinnati Reds — a team that was in last place as recently as Friday — ensured another day of the Cubs lugging around the worst record in the National League.

And if getting swept at home for the first time this season by a low-budget team that lost 100 games a year ago didn’t deliver enough sting to the 40,000-plus who were asked to pay for the privilege of watching it, buckle up for a schedule between now and the All-Star break that starts with the best-in-baseball Tampa Bay Rays and finishes at Yankee Stadium.

“It’s pretty frustrating,” said Drew Smyly, one of the Cubs’ best starters this year but who got his ears boxed by the Reds for the second time this season. “It was an ugly weekend for us. The Reds came in and beat us up.”

It wasn’t just this weekend. The Cubs are five weeks into a multisystem breakdown that has fans filling social media with hashtags calling for the firing of everyone from manager David Ross and President Jed Hoyer to any of a half-dozen players and Clark the Cub.

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The only reason the Cubs don’t have a closer controversy is because they don’t have a closer.

Even business operations President Crane Kenney’s side of the organization got into the Memorial Day weekend embarrassment with what might be the symbolic low point of the season: signing off on Saturday’s distribution of thousands of promotional bobbleheads of revered Hall of Famer Billy Williams — that somehow had the wrong uniform number on the figurine’s back.

The bottom line for a team trying to pull off a second full-blown, tank-job rebuild on Kenney’s watch is that it’s not even June, and even the guys in the clubhouse know the trade-deadline watch is on for the third year in a row.

“The reality of the business is it’s a bottom-line industry,” said struggling starter Jameson Taillon, who signed a four-year, $68 million free-agent deal over the winter. “You don’t want to put the front office in a spot to make those decisions. You want to make it the other way around. You want to put them in a position to have to go out and add to the team.”

Taillon, the losing pitcher Saturday, was part of a $300 million offseason that was supposed to buy a step forward in this rebuild — which Hoyer refused to call a rebuild in the summer of 2021 when he traded away most of the remaining 2016 championship core — if not buy a chance to compete for a playoff spot in one of the two softest divisions in the majors.

Instead, Cody Bellinger’s one-year contract and .830 OPS looks a lot more like a means to acquire young talent than a means to any October end once he’s back from his knee injury. Trey Mancini’s 2-for-3 Sunday can be seen through a similar lens. Starting pitcher Marcus Stroman — with that 2.95 ERA and an opt-out clause at the end of the year — could be an especially valuable trade piece in the coming weeks.

And if reliever Brad Boxberger gets healthy soon enough and reliever Michael Fulmer can regain some semblance of reliable form, well, you get the idea.

“It’s our job to make it as tough on them going forward as possible,” Taillon said. “Summer’s starting. It’s not necessarily what I would call early anymore in the season. So it is time to go out there and start putting wins in the win column.”

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Players naturally say their confidence remains strong. Even in last place, the Cubs are just 5½ games (albeit four teams) from the top of the division. And four months remain in the season — two before the trade deadline.

But since the good vibes rolled with their 12-7 start, the Cubs are 10-23, including 11 losses in their last 14 games.

And did we mention who’s coming to town next?

“Yeah, the Rays are the best team in baseball,” Smyly said, “and we’re going to take a long (West Coast) trip after that. But you could look at the schedule from here on out and every team’s pretty good.

“I don’t think it matters who you play. You have to perform. You have to do your job. And right now we’re just not doing it.”

That’s the thing. The bullpen hasn’t been good all season. The lineup has had big moments but often comes up empty in the biggest situations. The rotation has begun to show cracks.

“Our margin for error is not huge,” $177 million shortstop Dansby Swanson said. “So we just have to do the little things better than what we’re doing.

Witness Sunday’s fifth inning, which began with the score tied.

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A five-week stretch of breakdowns that has looked almost laughable at times went full slapstick for a half-inning. The Cubs allowed a stolen base on a routine pickoff throw, a foul pop-up to land harmlessly when first baseman Mancini collided with catcher Yan Gomes, and a runner to take third on another Smyly pickoff try that bounced into center field.

All of which came two innings after third baseman Patrick Wisdom banged into Gomes as he caught another foul pop near the plate — and which contributed to Smyly failing to complete the fifth.

It took all of three pitches for Smyly’s replacement, Jeremiah Estrada, to give up a two-out, go-ahead double. Estrada followed by walking the next two batters for another run before Ross brought out his second hook of the inning.

“We’re not playing up to our caliber. I think everyone’s aware of that,” said Wisdom, who snapped an 11-game homerless drought with two homers that drove in all five Cubs runs. “We still have a lot of belief in this clubhouse.”

Said Taillon: “I think the pieces are definitely there.”

The biggest question might be how many will be left after the trade deadline.

Gordon Wittenmyer is a freelance reporter for the Chicago Tribune.