Almost half of all Americans will be
diagnosed with a mental disorder
at some point in their lifetime. But discussing conditions such as anxiety
or depression is not always easy for many people. Feelings of shame,
weakness, and fear of burdening others often prevent open conversations.
There is also the concern of facing rejection, as mental illness remains a
taboo
topic in some families, where it is simply not discussed.
But ignoring mental illness can be dangerous. It can lead to
self-harming behaviors,
misuse of alcohol or drugs,
or
suicide.
So how can we start meaningful conversations about mental health?
Creating a Culture of Acceptance
The way to change how people think and talk about mental health is by
creating a safe environment. That means having an open and respectful
attitude. We can’t be judgmental about mental illness and then expect people
to feel comfortable talking about it.
We should be accepting of differences and use people-centered language.
Rather than label someone as “bipolar” or “schizophrenic,” we should refer
to them as “a person with bipolar disorder” or “a person with
schizophrenia.”
Conversations with Children
When talking with children, a little self-disclosure goes a long way in
building trust. You don’t have to wait until you have an official diagnosis
from a doctor. You can help children have meaningful conversations about
mental health without getting too clinical.
For example, your child may have
frequent stomachaches
in the morning. You might share that you had a nervous stomach on days when
there was a big test or an important game.
Or, your child might tell you that they think they have
attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder
(ADHD). You could talk about a family member who has ADHD and successfully
manages it.
This kind of honesty lets kids know that it’s safe to talk about their
mental health concerns without being judged. It can be hard for kids to see
a bright future when they are struggling in the moment with mental health
issues. Hearing about positive, real-life examples can give them hope.
Some tips for talking with children and teens about mental health include:
• Choosing a setting that encourages productive conversation. Rather than
asking a casual question in between bites at dinner, pick a time and place
where you can have an intentional conversation. This shows that you have
sincere concerns.• Using “I” statements, such as, “I’ve been wondering how you’re feeling since
the new semester started.” This avoids putting the child on the defensive.
Keep the conversation open-ended. Realize that your child might not feel
comfortable talking to you about certain things. That is okay. Let them
decide who they want to talk to, with clear questions like, “Would you
rather talk to mom (or dad) about this, or is there someone else you’d like
to talk to?” Good options include a doctor, a school counselor, or a trusted
adult or family member.
Conversations with Older Adults
Starting a mental health conversation with older family members can be
challenging because you may worry about making them upset or angry. In
addition,
older adults tend to have more stigmas
about mental health, so they may resist talking about it.
If a grandparent is depressed, for example, they may not want to admit it.
They may not want to see another health care provider. Or, they could be
hesitant about taking more medicine.
Some tips for talking to older adults about mental health include:
• Making it clear that you won’t force them to do anything. Offer options with
compassion, suggesting, “I want you to talk to an expert and see what they
think.” When it comes to their health, older adults tend to value what
doctors and professionals say more than family members.• Talking about mental health in the context of
family history. Many older people enjoy talking about their relatives. Their stories might
provide insight into family trauma or
intergenerational issues
that you may not be aware of. Knowing these facts can help normalize mental
health issues. It can also make mental health a shared family experience
that can be dealt with cooperatively.
Keeping the Lines of Communication Open
Sometimes, these conversations might get uncomfortable, so be prepared. It
may also take a few attempts to encourage family members to share their
feelings. It’s important to keep trying. People may be more likely to talk
if they see you are consistently coming from a place of caring and are
keeping the lines of communication open.
Most of us have had or will have a mental health challenge in our lives. The
more we can normalize meaningful conversations about mental health, the
easier it will be for people to get the help they need.
For more information about mental health, self-care strategies, and where to
find help, visit
ibx.com/knowyourmind.
This content was originally published on IBX
Insights.
About Dr. Ryan Connolly, M.D., M.S.
K. Ryan Connolly M.D., M.S. is a psychiatrist and behavioral health medical
director at Independence Blue Cross. He is also a Clinical Assistant
Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania Perelman School of
Medicine. Dr. Connolly has worked to improve mental health at the Department
of Veterans Affairs and the Philadelphia Department of Behavioral Health,
and has published on the subject of improving outcomes in depression
treatment. Dr. Connolly has received degrees from the Johns Hopkins
University, Georgetown University, and Temple University, and completed his
residency training at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania.