It had been 10 years and counting to the day my now husband decided to propose. After a quiet night at home, following takeout from our favorite burger joint in Venice, California, he tiptoed into the other room with our dog, Alastor, and pretended Alastor found something under the bed. I ran in, positive it was a mouse, only to find the two of them down on one knee (well, one holding up a paw). Naturally, I said yes. Less than a month later, we’d be moving halfway around the world to Portugal. So, I did what anyone would do. I planned a wedding in three weeks on the other side of the country so our families could be there. All for about $3,000. 

To be fair, I knew my guest list would be tiny, which right off the bat is the ultimate game-changer when it comes to planning a wedding both quickly and financially efficiently. It was just both sets of parents, a sibling each, their partners, my niece and nephew, my grandmother, my childhood best friend as the officiant, and her partner, giving us a grand total of 15 people. And that’s something even professional wedding planners say will undoubtedly save you the most money.

“It’s absolutely true that having a smaller guest list can reduce your costs — it’s simple math,” Jessica Bishop, the founder of The Budget Savvy Bride, said. “Additional guests mean additional meals, seats, invitations, and more. For every six to 10 extra guests, you’ll be looking at more reception tables, linens, and centerpieces. Having a smaller guest list allows you to treat an intimate group to a nicer experience than you would if you had to stretch your budget to accommodate a larger crew.”

Keep scrolling to see where else I, and a bunch of experts, think you can save and splurge like a pro when planning a long-distance wedding.

Save: Location 

At first, we planned to have a simple ceremony at the Providence, Rhode Island Courthouse, which even for a group of 60 people would have only cost between $150 and $1,000, depending on the day. However, this was during the pandemic; thus, the court would give us a marriage license but wouldn’t host our day. Instead, I reached out to, in my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful libraries in America: The Providence Public Library. We were given access to its gorgeous entrance area, complete with ballroom chairs, prep suite, and a few fun extras the librarians surprised us with for $1,250 total, far less than the $12,800 average venue cost reported by the Knot’s Real Wedding’s Study. (And, as a bonus, we got to sign our wedding certificate in the records room of the first newspaper I ever worked for.)

However, if you do want to go for a more expansive venue, Colleen Carswell, the creator of DIY Wedding Planning Made Easy, says the best way to save is to forgo doing it all yourself and go for a fully stocked venue instead. “Look for venues that provide all the rentals — tables, chairs, linens — and the staff to set up as well as plenty of pre-wedding time for setup,” Carswell said. “I once worked at a venue that served corporate and wedding clients and only allowed a two-hour turnover between events — that tight and rushed timeline is going to end up costing a lot.” 

Total cost: $1,250

Save: Flowers

I knew I wanted a special bridal bouquet but also knew I didn’t want to shell out the average $2,300 for flowers. So, I followed Pinterest’s advice and checked out Etsy for a dried flower bouquet instead. I got one for $100 from Lunaria Flower Shop and even threw in my husband’s boutonniere for a whopping $17.51. It also made for a fantastic souvenir, as we still have the dried flowers sitting in a vase in our dining room three years later, looking as fresh as the day we bought them.

Total cost: $117.51

Mix: Food 

For dining, getting something catered for that small number of people didn’t make sense. So, we made reservations at one of the city’s top spots, North, which whipped up a small tasting menu for us when we told them it was for our wedding meal for $70 per person, bringing the total to $840. (My grandmother and the kids skipped dinner, so for this one, there were only 12 of us). As a bonus, this allowed people to also order off the regular menu if they wanted something different and allowed us all to enjoy a truly delicious meal.

“While it’s important to be mindful of your budget, there are certain areas where it’s worth investing,” Lee Ramsay, owner of Lee Ramsay Events, a full-service wedding- and event-planning firm, said. “Good food and beverage is crucial, as your guests will remember the quality of their meals.” 

Total cost: $840

Save: Hair and Makeup

Hair and makeup is one wedding area that I know I am particularly lucky in. For years I have hosted videos for websites like Travel + Leisure, honing my makeup skills to a degree that I feel rather confident in — enough to do my own for my wedding. However, if you’re hoping to do the same, let me share my biggest life tip: The employees of Sephora, specifically their beauty advisors. No, you shouldn’t go in to ask to have your wedding makeup done for free. However, what you can do is go in (or even chat with one online) and consult with one of their experts on the right colors and products for you, and even soak in a bit of their expert guidance. That’s exactly what I did to learn I had been wearing the wrong concealer my entire life, and finally learned how to contour the right way (spoiler alert: If you have dry skin, use only liquid products, not powders. Learn from my mistakes).  

Total cost: $0

Mix: Dress and Suit 

For me, looking at endless options or having something custom-made simply was not an option due to time constraints. But, again, I got lucky and fell in love with the Catherine Deane Frida Dress upon first click. Ordering off the rack allowed me to save a bundle and avoid expensive alteration fees. (I call this a mixed-budget item because, come on, $795 is still a lot of money.) But if you’ve got a little time to spare, there are a ton of other ways to save, like borrowing a dress from a beloved family member or friend or checking second-hand sites like Preowned Wedding Dresses. For my husband’s suit, we were also fortunate and plucked a never-worn black suit from his closet, which he’s now worn for countless weddings since, making it a real win-win. 

Total cost: $795.00

Splurge: Photographer 

When I shared the news of my impending wedding with family members and friends, everyone was overjoyed. But I had one confidant who also had a small ceremony that warned me do not, under any circumstances, forgo hiring a great photographer. And she wasn’t the only one who believes this to be sage advice. 

“Never skimp on a great photographer. These are the pictures you’ll look back on with your family and friends. There’s also a very good chance they’ll end up on the wall of your new family home,” Jason Wright, owner of Paradise Weddings, said. 

We hired Yaritza Colon for our big day after falling in love with her style and editing choices. Colon was by far the most expensive part of our day and was the best $1,400 I have ever spent. Not only did I love her work, but it ended up being the last photo I took with my grandmother before she passed less than a year later, and it’s a photo I will treasure forever. 

“At the end of the day, wedding photos are tangible reminders of the absolutely priceless memories created on the big day,” Bishop added. “Hiring a professional you trust and feel comfortable with and who has great reviews and a great portfolio is always a worthy investment.”

The best part was, Colon also brought along her instant camera, allowing us to revel in the moment in real time. And while Colon has other paid add-ons, several experts shared that you can save by asking for minimalist packages that focus on only the things you really want to capture — the ceremony, reception, getting ready, or portraits. It’s up to you. 

Total cost: $1,400

Save: Officiant

The last great place to save is by asking a friend or family member to step in as an officiant, rather than hiring a pro. 

“I’ve heard countless couples say that they wish they had a friend or family member officiate instead of spending $1,000 on a professional officiant,” Steven Greitzer, a wedding expert and experienced officiant himself, shared. He even helps said officiants get what they need on his website, provenance.co. “The couple’s loved one can easily and affordably assemble everything they need through Provenance’s Ceremony Builder to lead a polished, personalized ceremony.”

For me, there was no better choice than my childhood best friend, Zoe, who took on the task like a professional and had us all crying and laughing throughout the entire day. And I’m glad I have her to learn from, as I’m taking on the officiant duties for the first time for another beloved friend next. Hopefully, I’m well worth the savings too. 

Total wedding cost: $3,562