After graduation, maintaining things to do that aren’t work is critical to our life satisfaction and well-being. Practicing a hobby keeps us mentally and emotionally fit, in tune with ourselves, and growing. Your hobbies are always there for you when there’s nowhere to go, or no one to hang out with; in this way, they can insulate you against some of the lonelier, more boring parts of the post-grad transition.
This week, I reflected on my own hobbies and had conversations with other recent grads who are especially good at keeping up with theirs. Here are my best tips for starting or maintaining enjoyable, nonwork projects.
1. Share with others who (really) care
Sharing your hobbies with others can help you maintain excitement, connect on a deeper level and stay motivated. But who you share them with matters.
My friend Josh and I met virtually (on LinkedIn!) in 2021, while I was trying to recruit a designer for my video game start-up. While my start-up didn’t pique his interest, we connected instead over a love of writing and art. When he started hosting Zoom poetry writing sessions once a month, he invited the only two poets he knew — me, and his friend Jen.
Over the past two years, Jen, Josh and I have met regularly for long virtual writing sessions. We write to a prompt and share what we’ve written in turn. We give individual attention to each other’s writing, deeply engaging with each person’s piece, asking questions and sharing reflections. We’ve found this way of sharing art to be so much more meaningful and motivating than sharing on social media for a few impersonal likes.
Josh agreed that social media isn’t always the best forum. He finds it more meaningful to intentionally share the process with people who are “just as sincere and thoughtful.” Jen seconded that, saying, “I feel like really, really known by y’all, in ways that I feel like really count.”
Our little group is a compassionate, informal structure that helps us keep writing through blocks, funks and life stressors. Mutual sharing with those who honor your work will help you stay motivated and consistent as you build your hobby into a more consistent habit.
2. Start with low (or no) expectations
As an amateur artist, musician and creative writer, if I put pressure on myself to be good at — or even to finish — every project I started, I would probably get frustrated and quit. The best advice I have ever read for integrating a creative pursuit into one’s life is from Kurt Vonnegut. In 2006, he wrote this beautiful letter urging Xavier High School students to make art purely for themselves — not for anyone else’s eyes or approval.
He instructs the students to write a rhymed, six-line poem and admonishes them to make it “as good as you possibly can.” But he warns them not to show it to anyone. Instead, he says, “Tear it up into teeny-weeny pieces, and discard them into widely separated trash [receptacles]. You will find that you have already been gloriously rewarded for your poem.”
In an era of constant online sharing, the most fun projects I work on are the ones I don’t show anyone. Setting the intention to work privately on your passions (or, on Vonnegut’s recommendation, to throw your best work in the trash!) will diffuse some of the pressure to produce something “good enough” to show others.
3. Make it convenient for yourself
Integrating a hobby into your everyday life is the ultimate goal. You want to make it as easy as possible for you to engage with your chosen task, instead of scrolling on your phone.
Recent graduate Hawraa Al Janabi loves learning languages in a way that fits into her daily social life. She’s fluent in English, Arabic, Spanish, Turkish and has recently begun learning Farsi. When I asked her how she does it, she explained, “The biggest tool hands down has been an actual interest in the culture and media productions of the language I’m learning.” She uses formal classes sparingly, and mostly integrates her language learning into everyday activities, like watching TV shows or speaking with friends and family.
I kept my hobbies accessible in college, too. I’d often study in the university chapels, so I’d have easy access to a piano during study breaks. My mom keeps her beading supplies near her bed, so while she’s unwinding at the end of the day, she can create beautiful works of embroidered art and jewelry. As a kid, Jen would keep a different book in every location — on her desk, in the car, etc. — so that no matter where she was, she had something to read. No matter what your passion is, keeping it easily accessible will help you maintain it throughout life’s challenges.
Hobbies are ways we can honor rest and restorative leisure time. When we spend nonwork time doing activities purely for ourselves, we live life more fully. Enjoying creative or physically engaging pastimes can enrich your social life, strengthen your confidence, and help you decenter your 9-5.
Above all, keep it simple and fun. As Al Janabi reminded me: “Just spend your time doing stuff you enjoy doing.”
I want to hear from you! Respond to this week’s question, and I might include your reply in the Tuesday edition of my newsletter, which is available only via email. (It’s free!) This week, I want to know: Do you have a hobby? What is your best tip for someone who wants to develop or stick with one? Fill out our form to tell us.
Know someone else navigating post-college life? Share this column with them!