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Someone San Diego Should Know: Barb and Charley Crew

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On Aug. 15, 2008, Michael Crew, 30, took his life by jumping off Boston’s Harvard Bridge.

His parents, Barb and Charley Crew, share their story hoping to encourage people to seek help and become more aware of suicidal ideation.

Born in 1977, Michael was tested in second grade and found to have a 150 IQ. He was placed in a gifted program and did well in school.

“He was fun while growing up,” Barb said, “always at the head of his class, a great reader, liked to perform and tell jokes at family dinners.

“He saw things in a creative way and had a great sense of humor. He was like a miniature Robin Williams.”

He started a business “flipping” comic books at 12. He would buy rare comics from stores that were unaware of their value and resell them to comic book shops.

“He made a lot of money from that and opened a bank account,” Charley said.

Although the family frequently moved due to Charley’s job, Michael always seemed to fit in.

They moved in 1992 to Poway, where Michael attended Poway High School.

He made films, was the lead in three plays, one of which he wrote, and did stand-up comedy, writing his own jokes. However, by his senior year Michael changed.

“He was out of control and began using drugs,” Barb said. “He wouldn’t come home on time, wasn’t truthful, was secretive and got into arguments with teachers.”

Michael staged a one-person sit-in at the principal’s office. He sat there and would not give his reasons.

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The school called police, and Michael went to a psychiatric hospital for a 72-hour observation, which ended with no diagnosis. Nevertheless, the Crews sent Michael to therapy, which seemed to help.

After graduating from Poway High School in 1996, Michael attended New York University, where his creative writing skills were immediately recognized.

However, three months later he was expelled for drug use. He attended a drug treatment program, returned to NYU and was, again, expelled for drug use.

He ran away and was homeless.

His parents found him and arranged for him to enter a renowned residential drug treatment facility.

“He said he took drugs because he was feeling two realities and voices,” Barb said. “The drugs made the voices and one of the realities go away.”

However, he ran away again, was found and entered a mental health facility, which he also left.

He moved to Boston, where he worked as a song writer and musical performer.

In 2000, at 22, after experiencing manic episodes, he was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia and bi-polar disorder and was prescribed medication.

“The medication helped,” Barb said, “but he complained about the side-effects. He said he lost his creativity and felt flat, among other things.

“He had ups and downs depending upon whether he took his medication.”

His death devastated his parents. “I didn’t go out for a month and cried a lot. I missed him and still do,” Barb said.

“This was such a waste of a fabulous person. We worried about him but never thought he would die.

“If we had just had a diagnosis and treatment plan when Mike was younger.”

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The Crews, married 53 years, have since become well-known champions for mental health. They support Vista Hill, one of San Diego’s largest behavior heath service providers.

Barb serves on Friends of Vista Hill board of directors and was given their Mental Health Advocate Award in 2021.

The Crews promote emotional wellness organizations, such as National Alliance on Mental Illness and they particularly advocate for initiatives aimed at improving diagnosis and medication.

“We are ‘stigma busters,’” Charley said. “Mental illness is like other illnesses in that people should be alert to it, get a diagnosis and get help. Don’t keep it to yourself.”

Every seven minutes someone in the United States dies by suicide, according to the San Diego County Suicide Prevention Council. It is the second leading cause of death for people aged 25 to 34 in California, and the third leading cause for those age 10 to 24, the council reports.

Help is available 24/7 at San Diego’s Crisis Line: (888)-724-7240.

About this series

Goldsmith is a Union Tribune contributing columnist.

We welcome reader suggestions of people who have done something extraordinary or otherwise educational, inspiring or interesting and who have not received much previous media. Please send suggestions to Jan Goldsmith at [email protected]



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