Now, if you’ve seen both of these shows, as I have, you might be yelling at me, “But Drew, ‘Succession’ is actually GOOD.” No argument there. The problem is that, for a moment in time that America has willed itself to forget, “Entourage” was itself a very good show. It was Emmy nominated for outstanding comedy series three times, just as “Succession” has been nominated for outstanding drama series three times. The tight-assed New York Times, no less, hailed “Entourage” as “an exhilarating challenge to the immune system, one that leaves you more awake, more amused and even a little more alive.” And you know what? I liked it, too. I felt alive watching “Entourage.” It made me want to hang out at rooftop bars and “do the f—king movie.” I’m willing to admit that. It’s hard to believe that a perpetually horny white guy who played college football would enjoy that show, but it’s true.

The similarities don’t end in the pitch stage. It’s time now for me to lay out my case in more explicit detail. Both “Succession” and “Entourage” feature a powerful central character: an alpha dog whose motivations aren’t always consistent and who must contend with a crew of hangers-on constantly jockeying for his favor — in Logan Roy’s case, even after he’s died. None of the characters on either show are terribly sympathetic, and yet you hate yourself for caring about them.

Every episode is low stakes in the grand scheme of things, but high stakes for the characters involved, because they’re desperate to know if they have “a deal” or not. For Logan Roy’s children, that deal involves selling their father’s company to an awkward Swede with a blood-collecting fetish. For Vinny Chase and his friends, that deal is Vinny being cast as Aquaman. None of these characters will be left in the poorhouse if their deal/movie falls through, but by God, do I ever want Vinny to be Aquaman, just as I would like the Roy kids to make their sweet, wholly unnecessary billions.

The casts of “Succession” and “Entourage.” Credit: HBO Max

Even more pieces fit. Both “Succession” and “Entourage” are on HBO Max, soon to be renamed Max because the HBO brand was apparently too off-putting to its tens of millions of devotees. Both shows feature a lot of overhead shots of expensive cars. Both are at their most fun when people get dressed down in boardrooms. Both include painful moments of white people attempting to interact with hip-hop. Anytime someone says something devastating to a character in either show, their reaction is always to laugh and go, “Oh, OK, yeah … wow.”

Both shows have their main characters hug a lot, but then you have that close-up shot where you can tell one of them just isn’t really into the hug. Both shows have awkward sex scenes. (Remember when Johnny Drama couldn’t get it up when he visited a massage parlor to get a handjob, and remember when Roman Roy could only get aroused when Gerri was verbally dominating him? Unfortunately, I do.) Both showcase how extreme wealth in America can become a form of mental illness. Both can be incisive about how your content sausage is made and the vacuous, selfish kind of people who are making it. And both shows feature extremely f—king weird actors named Jeremy.

Speaking of Jeremys, “Succession” Season 4, Episode 6 (“Living+”) was the show’s most “Entourage”-y hour to date. It took place in Los Angeles. It featured aspirational vistas of the nighttime LA skyline (makes me wanna chill out at Skybar!). Its central drama revolved around a deal whose outcome I am gradually becoming indifferent toward. And it featured Jeremy Strong (as prodigal son Kendall Roy) being flaky and unreasonably demanding in equal measure, just as his dad was. Just as, say, a needy movie star might be …

… Just as Vinny Chase might be! COINCIDENCE? I think not.

You see the similarities now, don’t you? You see how these shows are mirrors of one another? I can even break it down by character. Logan Roy is both Vinny Chase and Ari. Kendall Roy is Johnny Drama: dying to be Vinny Chase but really just a sad, pathetic loser. Roman Roy is Turtle: a weaselly douchebag you want to hate but who also sometimes grabs you with moments of genuine humanity. And Shiv Roy is E. She thinks she’s the responsible one, when really she’s just trying to survive any way she can. She might be taller than E, but that’s beside the point. Tom Wambsgans is Ari’s assistant, Lloyd. Cousin Greg is Lloyd’s dog, only the dog has more of a character arc.

I don’t like this any more than you do, reader. “Succession” is an incredible TV show, one that ought to serve as the model for how future shows are planned and executed once the WGA strike ends. But I’ve had more than one moment during my “Succession” fandom where I’ve been like, “I feel like we’re running in place here, just like ‘Entourage’ used to do — OH MY GOD.”

I can’t unthink that thought, and now you can’t either. I have cursed you with the take. There’s no escaping it. Five years from now, there’ll be a “Succession” movie (the f—king movie!), and it’ll ruin your fondest memories of a show you once loved … before I told you it was “Entourage.”