“Our lost and found is completely crazy.”

I raise my head from my close examination of the room’s minibar at the surprising comment. It stocks products that you might expect in any hotel, such as vodka shooters and bottles of sparkling wine for purchase. There is also a purple vibrating egg and seductive feather sticks.

I’m at the Provocateur Hotel in Berlin — a risqué hotel that describes itself as ‘shamelessly sensual.’ Sensual, yes. Subtle, no. But what might you expect from the German capital that’s known for its ultra-liberal approach to sex?

Currently, I’m having immense fun, having just pressed the room’s seduction switch.

Projections of scantily clad burlesque models dance slowly above the bed’s dark-blue gray velvet headboard, accompanied by a sultry cover of Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game.” The lights have automatically dimmed, courtesy of the switch, though the afternoon daylight dampens the effect. Understandably, the switch is meant for nighttime use.

From its oriental-style carpeted corridor to its original 1911 copper elevator, the Provocateur’s style follows the original design story: the debaucherous Paris and Berlin nightlife in the twenties, as conceptualized by the Amsterdam-based interior designer Saar Zafrir. The final look and feel of the hotel were inspired by burlesque, joie de vivre, and a sense of luxurious gratification.

The narrative sets a racy mood, and the hotel’s teasing details rise to the occasion. In the corridor on the way here, we passed a table whose ‘legs’ are that of a well-endowed mermaid, hands lifting her breasts to the glass tabletop — for structural support. Even the tissue boxes are shaped like a coquettish Moulin Rouge dancer, the soft protruding paper becoming skirts you slowly pull away.

Finally, I straightened up and turned fully to face Dulijeta Muratovic, assistant to the general manager, who guided me through the hotel. “And people just check out, and let you know they’ve bought a sex toy at the reception desk?” I ask.

“Oh yes,” Dulijeta continues, walking me towards the door of the Maison Suite. “Often they’ll pay for it — only to tell us that they lost their new purchase in the room the night before.”

“Of course, anything we find we keep hold of for six months — after that, we can throw them away.”

This sense of play and fantasy is evident in the Provocateur. I had stepped under the lightbulb-covered portico into the Altbau building, into a petrol-blue-colored reception lined with Victorianesque parlor palms. Before long, I was sipping prosecco in the Champagne courtyard. Perched on a wrought iron chair, I was surrounded by circular sofas covered in faded blue tropical patterns and lazily draped corn plants.

Then, there is the hotel’s Provocateur Bar, where each cocktail is inspired by the unique personalities of Berlin’s districts. The bar is the ruby in the hotel’s crown and a must for locals and guests alike — but more about that later.

Living on the east side of Berlin, I’ve traveled all the way (OK, 40 minutes on the subway) to the city’s western borough of Wilmersdorf-Charlottenburg to see the Provocateur Berlin. Worth the trip.

Curiosity piqued? Here is my full review of Provocateur Berlin — feather sticks and all.

The Rooms

The Provocateur Berlin has 58 rooms and suites, ranging from Petite to the Terrace Suite and the Maison Suite. Each follows the hotel’s overarching visual approach and evokes lavish indulgence. Deep reds, blue velvet, and bronze ambers evoke feelings of risk and love.

What do they have in common? There is, of course, the seduction switch that sends the room into ‘Provocateur Mode.’ You will also find carefully choreographed photographs hanging on the walls of party-goers. These portrayals sometimes feel off, but they add to the hotel’s ambiance.

The entry-level Petite room is cozy, but despite its size, it is intimate rather than claustrophobic. Jumping up a few levels, the De Luxe is an excellent mid-to-high range point. It is much larger than the Petite and has a standalone bath that is heaven to soak in after a wild night.

Up at the top end, the Terrace Suite has a daybed on its well-sized balcony, from which you can look out over the city. The Maison Suite has no terrace but is larger at 700 square feet, with a living room and standalone bath.

Food and Drink

The bar here is one of the big draws of Provocateur Berlin. The décor is all dark reds, petrol blues, and brass tones, lit dimly by hanging black candles and art-nouveau lamps. DJs regularly perform here.

The cocktail menu is scintillating, with each of Berlin’s 12 districts represented in liquid form. ‘King Pückler II’ represents the Treptow-Köpenick district with its combination of gin, tonka, strawberry and chocolate. The famously queer-friendly Tempelhof-Schöneberg borough is a mélange of rum, cardamom, chokeberries and pear. The ‘Grey Man’ cocktail represents the district of Lichtenberg, consisting of vermouth, sakura, verjus, and rye whiskey. Like the eastern borough, the drink is gray from the outside but has tasty depths.

On the ground floor of the hotel is the Franco-Asian-inspired Golden Dragon restaurant. While the menu has some tasty combinations, such as wild boar siu mai dim sum and wok-fried morning glory with garlic and fish sauce, these don’t exactly match the high prices or the spotty service. Explore the wider Kiez — the Berlin term for a small neighborhood — and get to know the city’s food scene instead.

Activities and Experiences

This hotel is for those who stay up all night and sleep late. It’s not bad, but it means you will have to exit the hotel to partake in more wholesome activities. To explore Berlin beyond bars and bedrooms, stroll down Kurfürstendamm, an avenue famous for its tree-lined pathways and luxury shops.

If that isn’t your Chanel bag, the subway station (the U-Bahn) is a few minutes walk away, and you can travel around the city relatively quickly.

Family-friendly Offerings

Provocateur Berlin is most definitely not the hotel to take the kids to.

Accessibility and Sustainability

With a narrow staircase, small elevator, and winding carpeted corridors, Provocateur Berlin’s accessibility is limited. However, one wheelchair-accessible room is located on the ground floor. The bar, restaurant, and underground events space offer full accessibility.

Location

Provocateur Berlin is on the west side of the well-to-do Wilmersdorf-Charlottenburg district. While this means the opportunity to wander around some gorgeous streets, this area is undoubtedly on the quieter side of the city.

If you want a more in-depth understanding of wider Berlin, take the U-Bahn from Konstanzer Strasse station. With a 24-hour ticket costing around $10, you can easily fit in major tourist draw cards like Brandenburg Gate, the East Side Gallery and Tiergarten, and the underground offerings the city is famous for.

Does even the suggestion of public transport make you curl up and die on the inside? Whatever you feel, do not rent a car unless you’re planning a day trip or have accessibility issues. Many Berliners don’t have a car; public transport here is excellent and cheap. You have been warned.

How to Get the Most Value Out of Your Stay

As well as being a Design Hotels member, Provocateur Berlin is a member of Marriott Bonvoy. You can earn and redeem credits from the Marriott Bonvoy Benefits system when you stay here. You can even use them to book tours such as a private walking tour of Berlin or a day trip to Potsdam to see the opulent Sanssouci Palace.

You can also book the Made with L’Amour Package. This includes an overnight stay in the De Luxe Room, a bottle of Crémant, chocolate-covered fruits and rose decorations in the room, and a delightful ‘time to tease’ set.

Each booking comes with a complimentary made-to-order breakfast. A welcome drink of prosecco completes the scene as a flawless beginning to your weekend, sitting in anticipation in the Champagne courtyard.