The first time I saw Utopia of the Seas some eight months ago, the ship was just a shell, under construction at the Chantiers de l’Atlantique shipyard, in Saint-Nazaire, France. Back then, the Royal Caribbean vessel was essentially a blank canvas, shrouded in scaffolding and netting, with patches of pale blue livery splotched across the hull.

By the time I boarded the 2,834-cabin vessel in Florida last week, Utopia of the Seas had come to life, absolutely bursting with color and music, with a big emphasis on the music. In fact, the beats were booming before I even stepped aboard, as music reverberated through the balloon-bedecked terminal during embarkation, prompting me to ask my check-in agent if she had brought earplugs. “Next sailing, I will,” she said.

Royal Caribbean calls Utopia of the Seas “the World’s Biggest Weekend,” promising nonstop partying on three- and four-night itineraries to the Bahamas sailing out of Port Canaveral, near Orlando. And party we did, during a preview sailing that included a celebration of the ship’s naming by godmother Meghan Trainor.

With only three nights to take the whole ship in, it was go time from the moment I stepped aboard. I attempted to visit as many of the 40-plus restaurants, bars, and lounges as I could, and I also tried to catch as many of the shows and pop-up parties — everything from Vegas-style day ragers to actual beer pong sessions — as possible.

It was, perhaps unsurprisingly, an effort in futility. There is simply no way to experience all the onboard offerings during such a short itinerary, and I found myself entirely drained by the mad dash from venue to venue. And that’s not to mention the constant barrage of music from the ship’s extraordinary sound systems, which all seemed to be turned up to 11, all the time. Meghan Trainor was right — it really is all about that bass on Utopia of the Seas.

So, take it from someone who flew a little too close to the sun: Don’t try to do everything. Instead, pick a few things to do off the never-ending daily program, then see how your sailing unfolds. If I learned anything during my stint on Utopia of the Seas, it’s that there are two must-dos onboard: the Aqua80sToo show and dinner at the Royal Railway, a brand-new venue for Royal Caribbean.

For more on each of these incredible activities and to prepare for your own trip, read on for my full review of Royal Caribbean’s Utopia of the Seas.

The Staterooms

There are 20 cabin categories across Utopia, ranging from inside staterooms with “digital windows” that show a live feed from outside to huge suites with ample space and amenities. The question to ask is whether you plan to spend your three- or four-day trip inside your own cabin or exploring the ship: If you’re somebody who’s only going to crash after a full day partying around the ship, a smaller room might be plenty. Alternatively, if you want a peaceful retreat, you might consider a Solarium Suite. These spacious rooms are located atop the bridge, on the “wings” of the ship, with panoramic views of the sea.

Bars and Restaurants

Where to even begin? There are more than 40 restaurants, bars, and lounges on Utopia, serving everything from sushi (Izumi) to Italian (Giovanni’s) to burgers (Johnny Rockets).  I didn’t even have a chance to try dinner in the main dining room — but that’s certainly a no-reservations-required option.

For quick eats, there’s the all-day Windjammer Cafe buffet, the Mexican-inspired Cantina Fresca buffet for lunch and dinner, the grab-and-go pizza spot Sorrento’s (a favorite of the late-night crowd), and even a poolside food truck.

As for bars, the most notable is Pesky Parrot, a tiki bar on the promenade with a menu of on-the-rocks and frozen cocktails. I found most of the bars on board to be so loud that you have to yell to have a conversation; ironically, the casino bar was one of the quietest places on the ship, save for the spa.

One particular dining venue merits special mention here. Royal Railway, which I wrote about for T+L back in February, is an immersive dinner show that’s unlike anything else on a cruise ship today.

The evening experience begins with a ticket delivered to your cabin, and as you approach the restaurant for your “train ride,” your name appears on a split-flap departure board outside the “station.” A conductor checks your tickets, and off you go to your table in the dining car.

Without spoiling the plot of the theme park–style experience, you can expect an interactive meal and even the feel of being on a real train car rumbling down the rails. Performers bring the Wild West–inspired set to life, though Royal Caribbean says other themes, like a Silk Road journey, may eventually debut. I found it to be a captivating dinner-theater show and something totally different, in a good way.

Where Utopia of the Seas Sails

The ship’s home port is Port Canaveral, Florida, from which it offers three- and four-night trips to the Bahamas. The three-night trips visit Royal Caribbean’s private island, Perfect Day at CocoCay, while four-night itineraries stop both there and in Nassau. It’s also possible to combine sailings to create a week-long vacation.

Shore Excursions

My only time off the ship came during a visit to Perfect Day at CocoCay. This private island for Royal Caribbean passengers has various zones with different vibes: A water park caters to families and thrill-seekers — you can’t miss the tallest waterslide in North America — while Chill Island is for lounging on the beach. An adults-only Hideaway Beach is where the party vibes continue. Guests can also book excursions including snorkeling tours, Jet Skiing, and swimming with pigs.

Amenities and Entertainment

Like all mega-ships, Utopia has just about any amenity you can imagine: pools, water slides, a FlowRider, rock climbing walls, an escape room, laser tag, mini golf, the list goes on and on. I’d like to call particular attention to the spa, which was fairly bare-bones considering how over-the-top the rest of the ship is. I booked a massage to get away from the party but was disappointed that Utopia doesn’t offer the kind of full-service spa experience I’ve had on other big ships. After checking in, I was directed into a co-ed waiting room — there was no locker room where I could slip on a robe — then brought to my treatment room. And when I asked if I could use the thermal suite after my treatment, I was informed I’d need to book a separate day pass.

Entertainment, though, is a strong suit for Royal Caribbean. The theater shows on Utopia are all fairly short — less than an hour long, which leaves you plenty of time to party elsewhere — but they’re full-on spectacles with impressive sets, costumes, and lighting design. These include a song-and-dance medley (complete with drones flying through the venue) in the main theater, an ice-skating show, and the absolutely amazing Aqua80sToo, which is staged in the ship’s AquaTheater.

To say this production blew me out of the water would be an understatement. Imagine you’re at SeaWorld waiting to see the Shamu show, but instead of an orca leaping hoops, a troupe of high-energy aquatic acrobats bursts forth from the pool as high divers plunge from towering heights. Oh, and this is all done to an incredible ‘80s soundtrack — hello, millennial nostalgia! The athleticism and artistry of the performers was phenomenal. (Let’s just say their diving, aerial moves, and dancing had me amped for the Paris Olympics.) If I were to travel on Utopia again, I’d be booking a seat at this show every single night.

Elsewhere on the ship, there are smaller but still interesting acts, including comedy shows in The Attic. a delightful pianist in Schooner’s. a rock band in the Music Hall. At every turn, there’s a show somewhere; there’s no way you’d be able to catch them all.

Family-friendly Offerings

While Royal Caribbean as a whole is undoubtedly a family-friendly cruise line, I think Utopia is perhaps best for adults and teenagers, not young children. There are plenty of family-friendly amenities, from the Splashaway Bay waterpark to the Adventure Ocean kids’ club, but given the party atmosphere I experienced, I’d probably pick another ship if I were traveling with younger kids.

Accessibility

Utopia has 46 accessible cabins, according to the vessel’s deck plan, in a variety of categories. During my sail, I got a tour of one, which had extra-wide doors, a roll-in shower, a lowered sink, and lowered closet rods, among other ADA-compliant features. Like other Royal Caribbean ships, Utopia is also equipped with portable visual and tactile alert systems, which can be brought into any cabin. Royal Caribbean also has online an extensive FAQ about accessibility features, as well as a contact center for accessibility questions.